Friday, September 4, 2009

oh boy…

So I am sitting in the Brussels Airport, which I won’t be at once I post this because I can’t find the free wifi here that was advertised boooo :(. (Edit: Ok I broke down and bought access at the hotspot near my gate for an hour. Ugh.) It’s pretty cool here otherwise, though, and full of beer and chocolate which really makes me miss Chris but anyway: I am having a ROUGH time right now, guys.

It finally hit me on the plane here (DC to Brussels, blargggg don’t do it!) that I AM LEAVING THE U.S. FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER FOR 3.5 MONTHS. I DO NOT SPEAK THE LANGUAGE. I DID NOT THINK THIS THROUGH. It was SCARY (and still is, but the freak out I mean), and I basically wanted nothing else than for the plane to turn around towards home. Maybe for engine trouble or something. I would cry with relief.

Most of it stems from the unfamiliar: I have no idea what I’m getting into, only what (and who) I’ll be missing from home. I have never been to Europe, I don’t speak most of the languages here, I’m used to everything being American and in English and accessible to me. I’m comfortable with my apartment, and RPI, and driving and getting around NY and the general northeast area. I’m used to seeing my friends and family every day, seeing Chris regularly and talking to him once a day (texting multiple times), and talking to my mom AT LEAST twice a day.

None of this will be the same in Spain, and knowing this fact is really throwing me off. Not to mention the fact that I am currently going through this experience alone, with none of my loved ones to share this with. Everything I see is something that reminds me of someone from home, and I want to have that experience WITH someone. Of course, I’m sure once I get to Spain and the hotel for orientation I’ll immediately start meeting people and going through everything with them. This transition is really rough though – especially for a girl who is used to being connected with her friends/family 24/7, no questions.

Anyway, please comment with any tips and things like that for me. Anything at all would help, I think. I know everyone keeps telling me I’ll have a blast once I adjust and all, but it is a really rough adjustment for me right now just traveling alone out of the country – that’s the part I’m having the hardest time with right now, being alone. :( Booooo. Comment please!!


Anonymous said...

Hi sweetie,

Traveling can be unsettling and stressful no matter where you are going or for how long. You are a smart, beautiful, friendly and adventerous young woman. Place you feet on the ground and take a breath up from the earth, relax into the exhale....
we love you,
Aunt Sharon & Uncle Mike

Chris said...

Just remember you're not alone, we're all here for you back in the states :)


Diana said...

Steve was overseas until August, both in Italy and then in China. While the time difference makes things a bit difficult, we got talking down pretty easily. It's a strange feeling but you'll get in the swing of things soon enough and it won't seem so bad. Plus, think of all of us who are jealous! :)

Hope you have a great time!

Mom said...

Well, it's a bold step you took, and when else could you do it? Perfect timing, really, ...hmm.., I think I remember mentioning refreshing your Spanish, and a few other things, LOL,..who ever listens to their mom at yr age when you're doing 100 different things at once????? Never believed I'd say what I heard your grandfather say a million times "Wait until you have kids!!" Ha, you'll be fine, like Aunt Sharon said, Take a Breath, Relax, and Live in the Moment, don't think of back'll be back before you know it!!! XOXOXOO Love you!